my room, bedtime



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department of philosophy & religion studies of peking u. ±±¾©´óѧÕÜѧϵ



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i'm back, after a year or more. i wasn't able to access some blog sapces for such a long time.

lian zhan, president of kuomintang was here yesterday. living in asia, as a southeastasian, i never wish to have war in my region. for the sake of innocent lives and wellness of human, i pray that peace will prevail on earth.

bought books from lush bookstore, wudaokou.
1. ÒôÀÖÇéÊ (something about music, from the series of net and books)
2. Ò»¸öÈË (alone, also from the series of net and books)
3. ¹ú¼Ê¹Øϵ£ºÊÀ¼ÍÖ®½»µÄ³åÍ»ÓëºÏ×÷ (international relations: conflict and cooperation at the turn of the 21st century, by Conway W. Henderson)

i've been thinking how nice it would be, if i have a book fund which allows me to spend US$500 monthly purely on books. have been longing to buy books from amazon.com. need to read more english stuff. craving for good books. reading the translated work isn't that satisfying.

also, a good reading chair is also on my wish list. imagine playing nat king cole, sipping rose tea while sit reading on those lovely armchair featured in ikea catalog~ spending quality time for quality life.

mom ordered 10 big packs of kuih bahulu from a home bakery at kampung baru, she wanted to give those kuih to our neighbours and relatives as CNY goodies. mom's colleague helped her to pick up those kuih from kg. baru and sent it over to our place. we received that 10 packs in heavy rain. as the kuih bahulu is fresh from the oven, and packed when it's still warm, the steam can be seen from outside of the plastic wrappers, we could feel the heat when handling those kuih.

i think mom has been muhibah enough to give malay traditional kuih as chinese festive gift. the aroma of baked egg + flour scented the whole house when we opened the packets to let out the steam (mom said it's better to "cool" those kuih). this kuih bahulu is famous for its sweetness and fragrance, its golden and crunchy baked skin make it even attractive! i cannot resist the temptation of having 10 opened packs of kuih bahulu in the kitchen. so i helped myself with at least 10 kuih yesterday!

kuih bahulu is nice to eat on its own. or you may dip it in warm milk or kopi o. it tastes better with a variation of flavouring.

here's the recipe if you wanna try.

9th Jan: reached KLIA at 11pm. reach home at 1am, 10th Jan.
10th Jan: procrastinate. swimming. ate laksa, wontan mee, ho fun, hokkien mee, fried bee hoon...
11th Jan: hi tea.

KL is still KL. not much changes. the worker at the mobil petrol station still remembers me. jusco is on sale. hot sun is burning. new year song is the air, all the time.

oh and streamyx is so damn fast!!! now only i know my campus connection in beijing was moving like snail.

today is visa day. it's truly an eye-opening experience. first thing is about the number of US visa applicants in china and their determination of getting it. second is about the process US visa application itself.

me and another 5 delegates of PKUMUN went to US embassy in Beijing to get our visas done. hui ling made an appointment 2 weeks ago, i got no. 425. paid renminbi 830 (US$100, isn't it expensive?) for application.

we had our interview appointment fixed at 1pm. boy... we've gone through at least 4 checkpoints before we could really enter the main building of visa interview at 1:40pm. no cellphone and bag are allowed. we dumped all our belongings to chen ke's boyfriend who will be waiting for us at McDonalds.

actually i thought the interview will be like both the consular officer and the applicant sitting down and talk for few minutes in little rooms/cubicles. to my surprise, the setting of the interview room is exactly like any bank's front desk teller. consular officers sit behind the glass of 8 counters. applicants would have to step on a higher platform, standing, and speak to the officer, answering all his/her questions. i personally do not like the way they carry out the interview.

after checking the passports and applications, again, we stood and waited for 2 hours before we're called. there're very few seats available, it's meant for children and senior citizens. we're observing others while waiting. people who went to counter 6 was unlucky. at least 6 were rejected. liu miao said, chinese tried every possibility to get US visa, even after 6 or 7 failure. only 8%-10% will be granted visa.

why do people wanted so much to go to US? is it because they believe that things are better in US? and is it really so? look at the people who're lining up together with us, there are children, teenage students, fresh graduates, business people, senior citizens on wheel chair... eventhough the US$100 will not be refunded if there's a refusal, people still willing to keep trying.

and when it's our turn, 6 of us squeezed in front of one counter. the officer is sooooo damn good looking. hehe. we had interesting conversation with him, in english, although he speaks good chinese. he asked questions on our intention to study in US, occupation of our parents, funding of our trip, studies... the on going chatting was relatively relaxed. he main concern was whether we're gonna stay there and wouldn't return. we said we still have to finish our study in beijing. then he carefully take down the years of studies of each of us.  we're quite confident, cause we knew we have good reasons and invitation from harvard to visit US.

at last, all of us were granted the visa. it's another 40 minutes of waiting for the collection. for B1 visa, we got 4 months permitted stay, it's 2 months shorter than 3 other delegates who applied earlier. i'm happy for my money is not wasted.

so reliefed after the whole thing was done. i suffered dizziness because of standing too long and being too hungry. took me FIVE hours for everything. how scarry.

another exam. international politics. had been studying whole day. tomorrow's exam will be intro to communication. >_< !!

6pm, cycled to good luck cafe, spoilt myself with seafood spaghetti & german potato soup, spent rm16. 6:40pm, cycled to classroom 3, saw big crowd in front the anniversary hall. oh dear, it's Fou T'song piano concert!!!! Fou T'song (bio) was the 2nd runner-up in 1955 Chopin competition, regarded as the greatest Chinese musician alive today by TIME magazine. i bought a ticket for his concert in May 2002. due to SARS outbreak, the concert was cancelled. and i got my ticket refunded. i was too busy with exams. had no time to check the notice board of anniversary hall for months! didn't know that Fou T'song will be performing in our uni again so soon. even if i'd got the new earlier, i still couldn't see his performance. sigh... exams, exams. by the time i finish writing on 2 papers, answering 4 questions and walk out of the exam hall. on my way back to shaoyuan, saw the crowd leaving the hall after the concert.

i'll be VERY busy tomorrow.

8am         exam.
10am       meet Mdm. Wang.
10:30am  post office.
11:30pm  visa interview -US embassy
3pm         continue writing essay

4 more days, and i'll be in KL again!!! oh~~ can't wait to go home go home go home!

chinese tell directions in this way: take left turn at the next junction, go 100m towards east, see a bank at north-east, and that's it.

it's usual for them to use north east west south (NEWS!) to give directions. it's pricks my ears each time i hear people mentioning "go west 50m...". malaysian never do that. and european don't do that as well. basically we say pusing kiri pusing kanan and that's it. the concept of directions is rooted in chinese. caroline once wondered, "did everyone of them swallowed a compass into their stomach?" a friend taught me to identify directions by looking at the sun. of course this only gonna work in day time.

oh and, most "gates" are differentiate by directions. we have more than 5 entrances in our uni. west gate, east gate, side west gate, south gate etc.. often have misunderstandings on which gate to meet. and sometimes i had to cycle 10 mins from east gate to west gate 'cause it's so confusing when people say "i'll meet you at the MAIN entrance!", that's the fatal word you should mention last. i really can't tell which is the MAIN entrance or MAIN gate. each gate has its unique function and unique definition to different people.

so do learn to observe directions when you first arrive in beijing. that's my advise to juniors.

1st day of 2004. wake up at 9am. it's just like any usual day for me. had breakfast while browsing thru some nice m'sian weblogs. i've been very keen looking for more m'sian weblogs since i started doing that communication research.

caroline (my ex roomate, german) came to my room. we chatted for a while. she ask me if chinese ppl like the idea of hugging or not. she wasn't sure if she should hug her chinese friend after a long nice chat. i said well, youngsters, yes, elderly ones, no. do you hug your friends? i said yes, i do hug my close friends. but sometimes it's a bit awkward when you hugged someone and then feel the stiffness, which means they dislike the hug. :(

hugging means exchange of love, trust and strength. how long have you not hugged your parents? your siblings? your friends? the last time me and mom hugged was when the grieve hit me when hearing the tragedy of a relative. believe or not, i felt much better after the long hugging. mom patted me gently. her words calmed me down.

the people i felt most comfortable to hug are my twin aunts. they were the ones who hugged me so tightly, till i could hardly breathe. aunt elsie's gave me a bear hug before i board the flight to beijing at KLIA in 2002. the warmth of her hug wrapped me all the way to beijing.

* * *
gotta gear up for the whole new 2004. new year resolution? here!
i wish to:

1. be a better time manager
2. be sporty
3. be more inspired of everything
4. be healthy & happy

i tend to think that i should leave everything behind. forget about working hard, studying hard.

perhaps i should spend more time picking nice clothes, getting my hair done, putting on parfum & make-up... let me just be free from all those head-aching essays, meetings, reports etc.. i'm just gonna sit still and wait till someone take me as his bride.

it's not a bad idea to get married at the age of 20, have kids at 22. might not be a perfect mother. but isn't it nice to have your kids growing up together with you? would love to be a young mother, to be able to play hard with the kids when i still have energy.

too much independence & confidence kill me. you see me strong from outside. helmet and armor is just the protection shield of the fragile me.

sometimes i'm horribly ambitious. sometimes i'm just bloody coward.